NOT THE ONE: a love story
Written and Performed by Mindy Raf
Directed by Tara Elliott
Not The One has played to a sold out run Off Broadway at 59E59, garnered 4 star reviews the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and has sold out spaces in Brooklyn like Cloud City as well as a recent guest production at NYC's Theaterlab.

In a nuanced blend of stand-up, storytelling and theater, Mindy takes complex conversations about coming out, modern love, loss, and sexuality and mixes them with some mansplaining and weed lube stories to deliver a highly compelling, satisfyingly provocative narrative that demolishes the romantic comedy and the roles women are taught to play in it. Not The One demystifies love, loss, and sexuality, and engages Mindy’s vulnerable, razor-sharp storytelling style to face the complexities of modern love and leave us asking, “could I ever do that?”


In addition to being a performance artist, Mindy is also a skilled storyteller with a wide range of experience as an actress and public speaker. Most recently, she was the headlining act and panelist for Consider This, A Day of Challenging Status Quo in Sex & Relationships.

I'm The One
I’m The One builds off the themes of Mindy's critically acclaimed Solo Show Not The One while diving deeper into alternative relationship structures and how non-monogamy helps define and create tools for dealing with anxiety, jealousy, codependency, as well as creating healthy boundaries. I’m The One is for women and young girls who are taught that their value stems from their romantic relationships, for the people pleaser within us we want to get rid of, and for anyone who wants to build a better relationship with themselves.

Shut Up & Bike
Greif and anxiety are often talked about separately, but the relationship between them is complex, personal, an often interconnected. In Shut Up & Bike, Mindy comedically weaves stories of her mother’s growing up into her own experiences with anxiety. Audience members will journey and gain tools from Mindy as they learn the the unique way she diagnosed herself via Goodreads, how her anxiety morphed and took over during loss, and how she eventually is making it her ally.

Marketing and Podcast Highlights

  • Curve Mag Interview Mindy on alternative relationships and storytelling

  • "... cheeky and infectious. ...intensely loveable, painfully relatable humour. And her dive into the romantic story of how she met her significant other is almost as moving as her powerful message about bisexuality. -

  • Mindy talks about pansexuality and queer identify on Dyking Out

  • “Raf makes a bold case for understanding how we are always all of our identities, and how these identities intersect, inform, challenge and support each other in exciting ways...pointed and important revelations about the challenging and absurd realities of the American healthcare system, Midwestern Jewishness and family, and marginalized sexual identities." THE SICK OF THE FRINGE

  • Jewcy Magazine interview’s Mindy on Jewish identify, love and loss

  •  "Finally someone is bringing humor and—most importantly —normality to parts of the human psychology and emotional life that are far too often romanticized, or even fetishized.” -THEATRE IS EASY

  • GO Mag goes 7 minutes in heaven with Mindy

  • "Barrier-breaking...inventive, sexually liberated (and liberating) one-woman show...cleverly conceived and engagingly kooky.” ★★★★ THE EDINBURGH REPORTER

  • Mindy on anxiety, relationships, storytelling, and jealousy on Loving Without Boundaries

  • “…a performance so intimate and in-the-moment that it almost feels as if she’s revealing herself spontaneously." -HY REVIEWS 

  • “The stand-up queen of self deprecation . . .LGBT Best Bet.” 
    ★★★★★ TIME OUT NEW YORK 

Audience Testimonials

Artist Statement

NOT THE ONE: a love story is a deeply personal show, and so important to me. I look at the show not only as entertainment but a wonderful opportunity to create a conversation through comedy and storytelling about how we're taught to define love and ourselves through our relationships. Much coverage of open relationships is narrow in scope and fails to accurately represent ethical non-monogamy. There is also a lack of lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer, or trans identity represented in these stories. When we represent and tell our own stories we can break the barriers that stand in the way of normalizing what others see as unconventional. I’m proud to help create a platform for this representation, and stir up this important conversation. -Mindy Raf

Booking Contact

Antonia [at]